Top 10 Reasons Your Page Can't be Found

  1. It’s still in the bathroom, putting on its makeup and eyeliner.
  2. Its car broke down in Vegas and it’s trying to scam spare change off passers-by.
  3. It kept saying it “wanted to be sedated”, so eventually somebody did. It still hasn’t woken up. (Or maybe it’s just that somebody put something in its drink.)
  4. It is undead. It’s currently out prowling the night, sucking the content out of other, living pages to prolong its unnatural existence. Wait until dawn.
  5. That page is a bleeding wanker, and its friends got pissed off at it and stuffed it down the loo. When it does become available, it will still be wet and soggy.
  6. It got stolen by your crystal-meth-addicted friends the last time they were over, to help pay for their habit.
  7. Its tour was abruptly cancelled after its drummer exploded.
  8. It’s sleeping off a hangover in a back alley somewhere.
  9. It had to go, really bad. You don’t want to stand between a Web page with a full bladder and the nearest bathroom, believe me.
  10. Because it’s dark in here, and you know better than to turn on the light to look for it. The bat-cavers will all scream about their eyes. (Wusses.)